How does play therapy actually help my kid?
I like to think of play therapy through a lens that I’ll leave Mr. Rogers to articulate better than I ever could: “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.”
Play is “serious learning” because it’s how kids make sense of the world around them and of their inner experiences. It’s also their language: how they communicate feelings that they may not be able to put into words. If you’ve ever watched a child turn a cardboard box into a rocket ship or play out a scene that could rival a TV drama using only stuffed animals, you’ve seen this in action.
So it makes sense that when life gets overwhelming, confusing, or just a lot, kids don’t sit down to chat it out over a juice box. Instead, they may start telling us their story through play– and that’s where play therapy comes in.
What is play therapy?
Play therapy is a developmentally appropriate, research-supported therapeutic approach designed specifically for children. Instead of relying solely on verbal expression (which can be tough for young kids), it meets them where they are: in the world of imagination and symbolic play.
It’s a safe space where they can process feelings, try out new coping strategies, and express themselves in their natural language. Basically, if you’ve ever felt like your child is trying to tell you something through their big emotions or behavior, but they just don’t have the words– play therapy might be a good fit.
Research shows that play therapy can be effective for a wide range of emotional, behavioral, and relational challenges including:
Anxiety and fear-based responses
Aggression, defiance, and similar behavioral challenges
Depression and withdrawal
Grief and loss
Trauma
Family transitions, such as divorce, adoption, or relocation
Social skill difficulties or peer conflict
Why it works:
Because it’s developmentally on point. Young children simply aren’t wired to sit and reflect verbally the way adults are. Play therapy allows them to process and communicate in ways that feel natural and accessible.
Note: It’s completely understandable for parents to feel confused or even frustrated by this process, especially when their child is showing challenging or disruptive behaviors. I often hear questions like, “Why aren’t you talking to them about their behavior?” or “Isn’t this just encouraging it?” But here’s what’s actually happening behind the scenes:
A child who’s been hitting other kids at school might play out those aggressive themes in the playroom: maybe a lion knocks over all the other animals or roars loudly until everyone runs away.
Rather than stopping the play, the therapist reflects back those themes with curiosity and compassion: “Wow, that lion is getting really big and loud; maybe it wants everyone to know how strong/angry/powerful it feels.”
This kind of reflection gives the child an experience of being seen and understood in the full intensity of their emotions, without hurting anyone. The consistent emotional safety helps the brain build new neural pathways for regulation and connection. We’re not just telling them how to behave; we’re supporting them in feeling it all and trying out new ways of being, safely and at their own pace.
Because the relationship matters: At the core of effective play therapy is a strong, trusting relationship between the child and the therapist. It’s not about “fixing” the child; it’s about creating a warm, accepting space where they can feel safe enough to explore whatever’s going on inside.
Because brains are amazing. Drawing on the work of Drs. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (authors of The Whole-Brain Child, among others), we know that play engages the brain in ways that foster emotional regulation and integration of difficult or traumatic experiences. Through the process of play therapy, children often develop:
Greater emotional vocabulary and expressiveness
Stronger self-regulation and problem-solving skills
A sense of empowerment and confidence
A deeper sense of safety, trust, and connection
Because neurodivergent kids experience and express things differently. For children who are autistic, have ADHD, sensory processing differences, or other forms of neurodivergence, traditional talk-based approaches can feel frustrating or inaccessible. Play therapy honors diverse ways of thinking, feeling, and connecting, without pressuring kids to communicate in ways that don’t come naturally.
What to expect from working with me:
We’ll start with an intake session (ideally with family members present) where we will explore your child’s history, goals for treatment, and what the therapeutic process entails.
Your child will be introduced to our cozy, welcoming playroom. They’ll have access to expressive materials like art supplies, toys that invite storytelling, cooperative games, and sensory materials, all curated to support emotional processing.
There are only a few “rules” for sessions: safety for your child, the therapist, and the space itself. Beyond that, it’s their time and their world. My role is to be a calm, attuned, and emotionally present guide. I’m not directing their actions or lecturing them about the way they behave at school; I’m witnessing, joining, and reflecting your child’s natural expressions. And if you, their parent, are willing to join us in their world over the course of treatment, the time spent in therapy will yield incredible benefits as you speak the language of play.
Don’t get me wrong, I know that parents have the hard job of holding firm boundaries and setting expectations for behavior with their kids. Play therapy is NOT about setting kids up to believe that there are no important rules to follow in life, or creating a “good cop/bad cop” dynamic where the therapist gets to be all fun and parents struggle more and more to hold down appropriate consequences.
That’s why parent or caregiver involvement is so crucial. It’s a bidirectional process. While I give your child a specific and sacred hour of play, I also help you learn the most effective ways to give them similar opportunities to process their feelings outside of session. At the same time, when you collaborate with me to discuss the important issues that are happening outside of therapy, I can help you develop the structures and strategies that will be most effective for your child. If I could diagram it, it would look something like:
Therapist and parent → provide extra focused, caring attention towards child with play therapy and quality time
Child and therapist → bridge the gap between symptomatic behaviors and imaginative play (the language of children) into speech (the language of adults) so parents can understand what’s really going on
Parent and therapist → develop routines, strategies, and supports that enable child to succeed
Child and parent → 😀
Final thoughts
Incorporating play in therapy sessions can do some pretty amazing things. Kids get to be themselves, work through big feelings, and build tools that help them handle life’s ups and downs— just by doing what they do best. Parents can become more confident, skilled, and relaxed, knowing that they are both securely bonded and well-informed about what their kid really needs in order to shine at home, at school, with peers, and everywhere else in the world.
