Screen-Free Meals Challenge
Even though I’m often on my phone (see also, me posting this on Instagram…), I’m equally often horrified watching myself live this way.
A lot of people I know feel it too. We can sense that the more we watch, scroll, shop, and game, the harder it is to focus, and the less satisfied we feel. But even though we’re aware of the pattern, it’s still somehow painfully, embarrassingly difficult to concentrate deeply on a task or allow our mind to wander. It’s not actually embarrassing, by the way– all of our tech is designed to be maximally addictive.*
Sometimes I get back on the proverbial horse and it goes pretty well. I have a digital camera for photos, and a hilarious pseudo-Blackberry style cell phone that gets compliments wherever I go, mainly from people who are just generally nostalgic about the 90s but also from fellow humans who feel the same chronic mental doom spiral of always being connected to tech. But other times, I’m back on a full sized smartphone while 30 Rock blares behind the phone screen, trying not to feel anything.
I’ve felt scared to death seeing “iPad kids” in the wild, but lately I’ve been living like an iPad adult. Gut check: if it would freak me out for a kid to live with constant stimulation… I probably shouldn’t be living like this either.
That’s why I set myself the Screen-Free Meals Challenge, to tackle one of the most persistent ways tech keeps a stranglehold on my attention span: the urge to have a screen in my face while eating. Read below and decide if you, too, might want to set a little obstacle course in your week to reclaim some of your mental real estate.
*I read this book, Stolen Focus, to understand more about my dwindling attention span. I highly recommend it if you’re interested in the subject (warning: may cause existential dread).
Screen-Free Meals Challenge
Challenge: Have at least 1 meal per day without watching TV or using other screens.
Duration: 1 week
Instructions:
Choose at least one meal each day to be screen-free.
Sit somewhere comfortable. A dining table is lovely. A couch is also legal.
Try to actually taste your food. Notice what you are eating, how quickly you are eating, and what happens when there is no screen filling the space.
Check in with yourself. Are your muscles tense? Are your thoughts racing? Do you feel calm, bored, irritated, lonely, relieved, suspiciously vulnerable?
If boredom or distress shows up, try not to beat yourself up for it. It can be genuinely hard to be present. I’m calling it attention span rehab for a reason.
Tips for Screen-Free Meals:
Set a mood.
Set the table, play music, light a candle, use the good plate, eat dessert first, whatever makes the meal feel slightly more worth noticing.
No need for speed.
Try not to inhale your food just because you miss TikTok!
Connect, if you're eating with someone.
I know it’s unbelievably cheesy and I wish it didn’t work on me, but I play Rose-Bud-Thorn when my husband and I are desperately wishing we were watching TV instead of talking to each other. Each person has to share a Rose (something good from the day), a Bud (something you look forward to), and a Thorn (something bad from the day). I KNOW, I’M SORRY, BUT IT GENUINELY HELPS.
Eat well.
If you have time, plan to serve yourself foods you love for your mindful meals. This is not a diet challenge. This is not a restriction challenge. This is a “can I be present for a moment?” challenge.
Practice self-compassion.
If you just can’t get through a screen-free meal right now, don’t beat yourself up. Try again at the next meal. Your only goal is to notice and enjoy a few more mindful moments in your life, when you can.
Reflection
At the end of the week, ask yourself:
How did I feel before and after my screen-free meals? What did I notice when I stopped distracting myself? Was it peaceful, boring, uncomfortable, surprisingly nice, or all of the above?
If your phone has become your favorite way to avoid feeling anything, welcome. Same. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, burnout, dissociation, overthinking, or the strange modern sadness of watching 30 Rock while scrolling through a second, smaller rectangle, therapy can help you understand what’s underneath the urge to constantly check out. You can learn more about working with Kate here.
Deep Dive Therapy provides online therapy throughout California and in-person therapy in Pacifica, serving clients from San Francisco, Daly City, San Mateo, Burlingame, and nearby communities.
